primary personality Tag

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"Here’s another up-close comparison across the five primary elemental personalities. This time we’re looking at how each of the elemental personalities relates to structure and boundaries in their lives. Trust me, you can learn a whole lot about a person based on how structured they are (or are not)!"...

"We each have all of the Five Elements in our personality make-up, but we have a special affinity for one of them. You can think of this elemental affinity as a lens through which we view the world. We spend our life thinking, acting, and seeing the world through this lens. Our priorities and tendencies in life are based on this affinity." ...

Dear Readers: Today we offer yet another opportunity to better understand yourself and the people in your life. Or at least a chance to better understand your elemental personalities. As I have mentioned here numerous times, at a very deep level the energy of the Five Elements (Water, Wood, Fire, Earth, and Metal) helps shape our personalities. That’s because the energy of these five elements is stacked up in our personal energy fields and the order of this stacking determines which of the five affects us most. This dominant or primary element is called our elemental personality and the more we know about it, the more we know about ourselves. Even better, the more we know about the primary elemental personalities of the people in our lives, the better we can understand them. And best of all, because the Five Elements interact in predictable ways based on the ancient Five Elements model, we can use this model to predict the highs and the lows of every relationship we have. This means that an important key to good relationships is the ability to determine the primary elemental personalities for ourselves and the people in our lives. And I believe that the best way to do that is to recognize yourself (and your friends and family) in basic descriptions of the elements and their behaviors. As I have suggested before, your primary personality is like being born into a secret club. All members of the Wood club will have similar tendencies, as will all members of the Metal, Water, Earth or Fire clubs. How members of these different clubs get along in relationships has been the primary focus of this blog for years, but it’s just as important, if not more so, to know yourself and what matters to you. When you do, your relationships will automatically start making sense, too. So without further ado, here’s another up-close comparison across the five primary elemental personalities. This time we’re looking at how each of the elemental personalities relates to structure and boundaries in their lives. Trust me, you can learn a whole lot about a person based on how structured they are (or are not)!   Water Structure and Boundaries In nature, water has no boundaries of its own. It will happily flow anywhere and take any shape offered, be it drinking glass, swimming pool, or lake. This lack of boundaries is seen in Water Club members’ tendency to be laid back types who go with the flow. They are usually happy conforming to the structure of others as long as they can still move. And truthfully, they need structure from others. In nature, the only way water provides structure is to freeze, which markedly inhibits flow. When Water personalities try to create structure this way, the lack of flow always leads to problems. In spite of what seems like aimlessness, water will end up where it wants to go. Engorged by flooding rains, a previously calm river can overspill its banks and claim any land in its path....

Dear Readers: Today we offer another opportunity for you to get to know yourself better, or at least get to know your elemental personality better. As I mentioned last month, we each have all of the Five Elements in our personality make-up, but there is one of them for which we have a special affinity. I suggested that this elemental affinity can be likened to a primary lens through which we view the world. There are five different options for this lens – one for each of the five elements – and our primary lens affects how we interpret and respond to everything that happens in our environment. What we love, who we love, what we hate, what is easy, what is hard, you name it. The reality is that our primary elemental personality determines more than we realize regarding how we live our life. Last month I suggested that our primary elemental personality creates predictable priorities and tendencies in our life that can be compared to joining a secret club at birth. For example, all members of the Wood club will have similar tendencies, as will all members of the Metal, Water, Earth or Fire clubs. How members of these different clubs get along in relationships has been the primary focus of this blog for years, but it’s just as important, if not more so, to know yourself and what matters to you. When you do, you not only begin to understand much of what you have done in the past, you will also be able to predict your priorities and tendencies in the future. And as we have said here many times, your relationships will start to make sense, too. So, without further ado, here’s another up-close comparison across the five primary elemental personalities. This time we’re looking at personality-based strengths and weaknesses. Water Personality Strengths: Water people have a keen awareness of their inner resources and trust that they can handle whatever life brings. Exceedingly patient, Water personalities know that as long as they stay connected to their deep sense of self, they can ultimately triumph over any difficulty. This makes them optimistic, hopeful people. Water Personality Weaknesses: If knowing their own abilities is the greatest strength of Water people, their weaknesses are fear and lack of trust. When Waters are disconnected from the inner forces that support them, they feel vulnerable and begin doubting themselves. Fear creeps in. They usually respond to this by becoming whiny, negative, suspicious, or eventually paranoid people. Wood Personality Strengths: Wood people can envision their goals and firmly believe that if they try hard enough, they can manifest almost anything. Powerful and decisive, Woods count on their ability to get things done in the face of seemingly insurmountable odds. They can use their abundant energy to remove obstacles that block the way. It is the nature of their personality to be strong, direct and assertive, hopefully in a kind way. Wood Personality Weaknesses: If action and accomplishment are the greatest strengths of Wood people, their greatest weakness is an explosive response to...

Dear Readers: Happy 2019! I hope it’s a year of happiness, joy, and excellent relationships for you all! Today marks the beginning of a new feature here at the Ask Vicki blog. Lately, many of the letters and inquiries I receive are from people who not only want to understand the Five Elements spin on their relationship problems, but also want to explore more about their individual elemental personality. It’s an important request, and I think the best way to do that is to understand each of the elemental personalities and see where you fit in. Remember that we all have all of the Five Elements in our personality make-up, but we have a special affinity for one of them. You can think of this elemental affinity as a lens through which we view the world. It’s as though at birth we’re assigned to a secret club – so secret that no one tells us we belong – and we spend our life thinking, acting, and seeing the world as a member of that club. Our priorities and tendencies in life are based on our club membership. When we enter into a relationship with someone from a different club, which is very common, the relationship becomes a predictable dance between the two clubs. But to understand this dance with another person, you need to know your club membership, if you will, and the club membership of the person you are relating to. And that’s where many of you have asked for help. So beginning today, once or twice a month I will offer an up-close comparison of the five elemental personalities based on specific issues like What Matters, Personal Expressions, Structure and Boundaries, Strengths and Weaknesses, Socialization Tendencies, Relationship Focus, Stress Tendencies, Likely Professions, Primary Focus, Favorite Question, and something I like to call Elemental Truths. I’m sure you will begin to recognize yourself – and the people you relate to – in these comparisons. So let’s get started with two of my favorites! What Really Matters to Each Elemental Personality What Matters to Water Personalities: Deep Issues People who hang out in the Water Club view life through the filter of depth. Profound issues matter to Waters, who often seem obsessed with the pursuit of knowledge, truth, and meaning. Waters are interested in art, philosophy, and religion, but won’t care about the surface aspects of these pursuits. Instead, they’ll focus on the underlying meaning of it all. What Matters to Wood Personalities: Accomplishment People who hang out in the Wood Club value accomplishment and success. Good at decision-making and planning, Woods can see what needs to be done and rally the troops to do it (or go it alone through hard work). We all need Wood energy if we’re going to accomplish anything, but members of the Wood club need accomplishment to feel successful. What Matters to Fire Personalities: Connections We all need Fire energy at times because we all need relationships. The push to connect begins in Fire, and while these connections usually aren’t long-term for Fires, they need the charge they get from spontaneous connections to...