winter Tag

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"Each elemental personality will respond to winter in predictable ways depending on how balanced they are within their own elemental personality and how that personality relates to the seasons as represented in the Five Elements model. Let's take a look!"...

“The Winter Solstice is approaching and that means the start of winter. I hate it! The dark and cold always make me very unhappy. My sister loves December, the darker and colder, the better for her. How can we be so different when we’re just one year apart? Could this have something to do with our elemental personalities?”...

“The Winter Solstice is approaching and that means the start of winter. The dark and cold always make me very unhappy, but my sister loves December. How can we be so different when we’re just one year apart? Could this have something to do with our elemental personalities?!”...

Dear Vicki: I started dating a guy last spring and we connected immediately. Jack is a super outgoing guy who does voice over work and is lots of fun to be around. We laughed and had tons of fun all summer. It was perfect and seemed to get better and better, so I thought he might be the one. But as winter rolled in, it seems like he’s drifting away. We did a few things around the holidays, but now he says he’s really busy and will call later, but he never does. I’m really busy too – I’ve just started a career as a nurse – but I still have time to reach out to him. When I do, he says he’ll get back to me, but nothing. It’s rude of him, I know, but I really loved being with him. What did I do that drove him away, and what if he never comes back? Signed, Nervous in New York Dear Nervous in New York: I am so sorry you find yourself in this difficult situation. It’s never easy to be in a relationship that is changing in a way that you don’t want, so let’s take a look at what might be going on between you and Jack. As a nurse, it seems very likely that you are a primary Earth personality. The caring and desire to do for others that nurses embody is characteristic of the Earth personality. As for Jack, the intensity with which you connected last spring, as well as his occupation as a voice over actor, suggest that he is probably a primary Fire personality. Intensity, especially around relationships, is not uncommon with Fire people, and most forms of acting usually come naturally to them. In the Five Elements model, Fire and Earth relate on what is called the Nurturing Cycle, with Fire feeding Earth. That would explain why the relationship felt so good to you. It probably even felt natural to Jack for a time. In nature, an earthen hearth is a very comfortable container for Fire’s energy, at least in the beginning. So what’s going on now? In the good news department, Earth and Fire personalities both care deeply about connections. The bad news is that Earth people usually want long-term connections while Fire people are usually into more intense, short-term connections. So as an Earth personality, you are more likely to see the beauty of a developing relationship, while Jack’s Fire personality will revel in the fun and intensity of the initial contact and be less interested in a long-term thing. This doesn’t mean that Fire people can’t have long-term connections; they certainly can. But what an ideal long-term relationship looks like for a primary Fire person will be very different from what an ideal long-term relationship looks like for a primary Earth person. In truth, over time you might have tired of the relationship with Jack. As I said, initially an Earth personality can be a comfortable fit for a Fire personality – and the Fire person...

Dear Vicki: This isn’t really a question about a relationship with another person, it’s more about my relationship to a season. I hate winter and actually think I may have Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) because I’m always so depressed during the winter month, no matter how beautiful people say they are. I hate being cold! Even worse, I’m pretty sure I’m a Water personality, which makes winter “my” season. Yuck! So why do I hate it so much? Dreading Winter Dear Dreading: This is an excellent question at an excellent time. Winter is just around the corner. In past posts we have touched on the fact that the seasons absolutely affect how our personalities manifest. During the season associated with our element, we often feel more “ourselves,” as if the incoming energy reminds us of who and what we are. For example, my Wood personality is all about getting things done, which is the hallmark of spring. So right around the middle of March, I usually do feel like I’m waking up from a long winter nap and am ready to take on the world. The incoming energy of spring helps me get going in a way that thrills my Wood. We can also feel more balanced during a season that isn’t our primary energy, but is one that we really need. So if I’ve been going full speed ahead all spring and summer, the energy of autumn will help me slow down, not just because the days are shorter, but because it’s the energy of Metal, which sits on my Controlling Cycle. Autumn helps my productivity-oriented Wood slow down and stay balanced. And if my Wood is depleted, winter can be a great time because the Water energy of winter feeds the Wood element. But it doesn’t work that way for other elemental personalities, so let’s see what can be done to help you. You are correct that winter is usually a time that soothes the souls of Waters – it’s all about quiet, inner-directed focus, something that balanced Waters love. However, if life has created a state of imbalance in you such that you have too much Water, the oncoming winter will not feel good at all. At the very time you need less Water energy, the universe is literally flooding you with more! But there are ways to help work with this gift from Mother Nature. In the brilliant Five Element model, we know that Earth sits on the Controlling Cycle for Water. Said another way, Earth energy can help decrease Water energy. This means that more Earth energy during the winter will help you manage your seasonal overabundance of Water. Said another way, you want to bring up your own Earth energy to help manage your “too much Water” state. To do this, you can make winter a time you connect with the people who matter to you (remember that Earths love meaningful connections). The holidays make that easy, so try to make time for the people who matter to you. Also, nurture yourself in...

Dear Vicki: The Winter Solstice is approaching and I’m dreading it as the start of winter. The dark and cold make me very unhappy. But my sister (a writer) loves December: The darker and colder, the better for her. I think she’s crazy, but how can we be so different when we’re just one year apart? Could this have something to do with our elements? I don't even know what element I am. Signed: Dreading Winter Dear Dreading: Winter Solstice does herald the start of winter in the northern hemisphere; December, January and February are usually the coldest, darkest months here. But within the Five Elements model, Winter Solstice represents a pause in the constant cycling between light and dark. December 21 is the shortest day of the year and the longest night. Beginning the next day, the nights shorten and the days lengthen. So if you hate the dark, Winter Solstice is good news for you because beginning December 22, the days get longer. But the cold? Well, that’s around for several more months. To answer your question, how we respond to a time of year absolutely can have to do with our element, especially since each element has a seasonal affiliation. On the surface of things, it seems logical that an element would resonate with their own season, and that can be true. But it isn’t always so straightforward. If someone’s primary element is unbalanced, they may not do well with their own season and may really need what another season has to offer. Let’s look at how this might work and perhaps you will recognize yourself. We’ll start with Water, the element with the most yin energy of the Five Elements. Yin is associated with coolness, darkness, inner direction, and stillness, which pretty much summarizes winter. Not surprisingly, Water equates to winter in the Five Elements model. And if they are balanced, Waters do enjoy winter because they like cool temperatures and time alone to ponder deep issues. As a writer, your sister could well be a Water, which means she would love December and find it a very comfortable time. However, if she is ever in an excess Water place, December might be too much Water energy for her. Too much winter can make a Water intolerant and unhappy. The fact that you hate winter could mean that you are also a Water, but perhaps in an excess state. Conversely, if a Water person has low Water energy, which might show up as depression or unreasonable fears, the Water energy of winter will feed them and help them re-establish balance. The other elements will respond to winter in predictable ways depending on how balanced they are within their primary element and how that element relates to Water/winter. Wood relates to Water on the Nurturing Cycle (Water feeds Wood), so Wood people often enjoy winter as a time to plan what they’ll accomplish once spring (their season) hits. As long as they’re feeling productive, and can stay warm, Woods usually...

Dear Vicki: I feel silly writing, but I’m having trouble with my boyfriend Wilson. We met at college last fall and in spite of the fact that he’s a quiet, serious guy, we hit it off. Even though I usually hate the cold, we had a lot of fun last winter ice skating, throwing snowballs, and drinking hot cocoa while we talked late into the night. But he started getting moody in the spring and no matter what I tried, he wouldn’t cheer up. Now, in the middle of this glorious summer, he’s grumpy and doesn’t want to do any fun things outside anymore. The beach is too hot. The tennis courts are too hot. Everything is too hot! And he doesn’t like my friends. I love summer, love the fun of outdoor parties and connecting with people, and can’t imagine why he’s complaining. From what little I’ve read about the Five Elements, I think I’m an Earth because connecting with people matters to me. Is this relationship doomed? Please let me know so I can find someone else to have fun with the rest of the summer. Signed: Loves the Sun Dear Loves the Sun: No relationship is ever doomed as long as you understand each other and are willing to put a little effort into meeting each other’s needs. It’s also important to understand yourself, so let’s start there. You could be an Earth; connections certainly matter to Earths. But they want deep, lasting connections and will work hard to keep them, no matter what. You don’t sound like you’re in a space to do that. However, there is another element that values connections, and that’s Fire. Fires tend toward quick and fun connections rather than looking for something that will stand the test of time. Fires also enjoy being busy, usually appreciate summer activities, and often don’t do well with cold weather. Honestly, this sounds a lot like you, so I suspect you’re a primary Fire, not Earth. On the other hand, Wilson sounds like he could be a Water. They enjoy winter more than most and are usually much less enthralled with hot weather activities. And while Waters usually tend to be loners, when love strikes, they will connect on a one-to-one basis. Noisy gatherings aren’t their thing, but quiet time alone with someone special works. No one is better at talking late into the night than Waters, especially if the topic involves philosophy or esoteric ideas. Because winter is Water’s season, the approach of spring sometimes makes them uncomfortable as they are moved away from their comfort zone. And summer? It’s way outside that comfort zone! Remember how much you normally hate winter? As a Water, Wilson will feel pretty much the same way about summer. This means that seasonally and socially, you and Wilson are exact opposites. You’re also opposite at a very basic energetic level. Water represents winter’s full yin energy, which is the tendency to pull completely into one’s self and live a quiet life there....